Just life, again

I have stopped cataloguing touch. In May, driving away from a house showing, I mentally revisited a real estate agent rubbing my shoulder; I tallied it like I was adding to a collection. I had been telling him about my late cat, and corrected myself with “You’re a real estate agent, not a therapist.” AndContinue reading “Just life, again”

Humans Are Beautiful

Humans are beautiful. I was basically raised by cats; this is an odd thing to think. I was bullied. At school. At home. Yes, there were moments of friendship, and love, and guidance…from people. But cats were consistent. Two consecutive cats, who each died too soon, taught me about trust and understanding that can beContinue reading “Humans Are Beautiful”

I’ve Always Liked the Sun

Lying on an outdoor lounge chair next to a pool. Germany. I was nine or ten. My parents had several aspirational friendships with people much wealthier than us. It was a borrowed life, for an afternoon. A test drive in a car we’d never buy. Their family mirrored ours, sort of: two kids, the oldestContinue reading “I’ve Always Liked the Sun”

Melody

She took me shopping for school clothes, before fifth grade, before my family left for Germany. Her black hair was way short. The cancer. She was Greek, adopted by a new Greek-American family when her mother died of the same cancer that would take her, aged 24. In the mall, under fluorescent lights, sifting throughContinue reading “Melody”

A Mystery

I spent most of my childhood in a shy bubble. I was so slow to learn to talk, people started to worry. And when I did talk, it was at select times, to select few. I lived on the sidelines; sometimes it was comfortable there, watching. Often I pined for the world that whirred alongContinue reading “A Mystery”

The Show Must Go On

Sardinia, Italy, sitting on a girl’s bed with an Italian-English dictionary open between us. She was eighteen. I was a year older. She lived with her Grandma, next door to my friend’s father. I was just visiting. My friend: we were supposed to be moving to California. But our friendship was imploding. I’d been leaningContinue reading “The Show Must Go On”

Something in the Way

New York City, early nineties. I was going to school, and listening to a lot of bands. I was almost a grown-up. And we were all going to be rocks stars when we grew up. Right? Or actors. Or artists. Astronauts. Soccer stars…And when you’re becoming something you aren’t yet, people watch you try, andContinue reading “Something in the Way”