Sinead, Again

At the sink just now. Humming ‘Nothing Compares to You’. It’s everyone’s favorite Sinead O’Connor song except mine. Prince wrote a pretty song for a pretty girl. And she made it her own because that voice, and that spirit. But her other songs–the ones she wrote–they are a whole world. I remember listening to SineadContinue reading “Sinead, Again”

I am here and so are you

I got my vaccination the other day–the first one. It was a warm day and I walked. I showed the doctor my black and blue wrist from when I fell off a ladder the day before. Sheet rocking: we confirmed it’s dangerous. My wrist is OK, I think. The vaccination didn’t hurt a bit. IContinue reading “I am here and so are you”

Spring

The other night, sipping wine, a cheap red, I wished someone would take me out to dinner. New flavors, new conversation. I felt like mango: maybe some kind of mango relish…And I thought but what does that entail? Afterwards I express my approval with my body. Or not. Is that what dating is? I can’tContinue reading “Spring”

The Devil’s Tears

Memorizing a monologue from a play: the nostalgic musings of a discouraged prostitute. I’m thinking about how almost everything in life is a negotiation. And these words from a song are stuck in my head on a loop: He said “I am the devil, boy, come with meAnd we’ll make many storms”He offered me theContinue reading “The Devil’s Tears”

This Old Thing

I’m wearing the sweatshirt I stole from my older brother back when I was young enough to do that kind of thing. He was away at college. It’s black with cut-off sleeves; they’re frayed now. There used to be a stencil on the back–his design–a combination horse’s butt and beer bottle in white paint withContinue reading “This Old Thing”

Oregano, Mother

Making a tuna melt. It’s not really a tuna melt, because there’s no cheese. I’m a vegan who sometimes eats fish and sometimes also cheese, but never in tuna melts. It is what it is. (You can laugh. I do.) I decide to change up the seasoning: sprinkled oregano. And I’m reminded of my mother,Continue reading “Oregano, Mother”

The Unlearning

Cereal again. I’m trying this new sugar-free muesli. Muesli always reminds me of my dad. How he always used to pour me a bowl when I visited him, before he left for work. When I was a kid, I dished out my own cereal. But as an adult, as a guest in his home, itContinue reading “The Unlearning”

Business Card

Pouring my cereal just now. Reaching in the fridge for the milk. My ex’s name flashes before my eyes–the ex I had to banish. And I think wait a minute. What was that? I scan the front of the fridge and I don’t see it, so I peer around the side. There it is: theContinue reading “Business Card”

The Messages

Standing at the kitchen window watching the shadows of crows fly over the snow, across the yard, over the shed, beyond the fence, into the trees….I don’t always get my messages. Or turn on my phone. It’s just a thing, over there. They were a month old: the messages left on my birthday. A handfulContinue reading “The Messages”