Daily

This morning drinking coffee, reading emails. Jobs I don’t want. Stuff I should buy. Publisher’s Clearing House, telling me to head over to their website and play their games like I did yesterday, for a minute. A couple of minutes. Just enough time to enter the sweepstakes: $7,000 a week for life. And I thought:Continue reading “Daily”

I Just Keep Drawing

I noticed I keep drawing the same face–the same young woman–yesterday working on an illustration. And I wondered who she is. Sometimes I draw friends or lovers. But this is a face I don’t recognize. Drawing is like dreaming, when you get it right, when you’re in the flow…So ‘who is this?’, I wondered. WhenContinue reading “I Just Keep Drawing”

This Old Thing

I’m wearing the sweatshirt I stole from my older brother back when I was young enough to do that kind of thing. He was away at college. It’s black with cut-off sleeves; they’re frayed now. There used to be a stencil on the back–his design–a combination horse’s butt and beer bottle in white paint withContinue reading “This Old Thing”

Oregano, Mother

Making a tuna melt. It’s not really a tuna melt, because there’s no cheese. I’m a vegan who sometimes eats fish and sometimes also cheese, but never in tuna melts. It is what it is. (You can laugh. I do.) I decide to change up the seasoning: sprinkled oregano. And I’m reminded of my mother,Continue reading “Oregano, Mother”

The Unlearning

Cereal again. I’m trying this new sugar-free muesli. Muesli always reminds me of my dad. How he always used to pour me a bowl when I visited him, before he left for work. When I was a kid, I dished out my own cereal. But as an adult, as a guest in his home, itContinue reading “The Unlearning”

Business Card

Pouring my cereal just now. Reaching in the fridge for the milk. My ex’s name flashes before my eyes–the ex I had to banish. And I think wait a minute. What was that? I scan the front of the fridge and I don’t see it, so I peer around the side. There it is: theContinue reading “Business Card”

I’ve Always Liked the Sun

Lying on an outdoor lounge chair next to a pool. Germany. I was nine or ten. My parents had several aspirational friendships with people much wealthier than us. It was a borrowed life, for an afternoon. A test drive in a car we’d never buy. Their family mirrored ours, sort of: two kids, the oldestContinue reading “I’ve Always Liked the Sun”

The Messages

Standing at the kitchen window watching the shadows of crows fly over the snow, across the yard, over the shed, beyond the fence, into the trees….I don’t always get my messages. Or turn on my phone. It’s just a thing, over there. They were a month old: the messages left on my birthday. A handfulContinue reading “The Messages”

All Kinds of Pain

We lived on a little one-block street that ran parallel to a bunch of other one block streets on the East Side, in Providence. And every street was different. Methyl Street, one block north, had a Mark Twain/Lord of the Flies flavor. Tons of boys. Playing in the street, all the time. My brother startedContinue reading “All Kinds of Pain”